I write my blog because I continue to learn from; books, business leaders, attending conferences – and each of these lessons or insights I need to store somewhere so I don’t forget them. I use my blog as a repository to catalogue what I am learning. In addition I may well have formed an opinion about what I have read, seen or experienced and as such I write about that.

2227 days ago when I wrote my first post I didn’t know if anyone would read it… but I wrote it for myself. As time progressed I realized that in writing and sharing my experiences others could learn from them… it could become a source of education and insights for others.

Kim from Nest Interior Styling - A big congratulations

I received the email [below] and it made my day. We never know the impact that we may have on another – I don’t know how my words inspire or enrage readers, but when people let me know what they thought – it is all the thanks I need to keep doing what I do. A small ‘thank-you’ can go a long way.

“Hi Naomi

I started following your blog after your appearance on Secret Millionaire.  You posted something that struck a chord with me – ‘if it’s meant to be its up to me’.

At the time I was feeling unclear about my vision for where I wanted to take my business – I am a work at home mum & was feeling a little unsure as to my own confidence & abilities in ‘getting myself back out there’ but didn’t know how to get started.

I wrote this to you & you took the time from your schedule to respond, which in my own world was truly appreciated & meaningful.

I have since literally taken your words ‘if its meant to be it is up to me’ & created massive action along with it & have just had the most incredible year unleashing my creativity, learning more about myself & capabilities than I knew I had in me, both on a creative & personal level.

Learning the ‘balance’ of work & home will continue to be ongoing but I do feel really proud of what I have created & excited about where it is all heading in the future.

I have my own blog http://www.nestinteriorstyling.blogspot.com & have been selling my clay tags ‘mud by nest’ online & at local markets – & I am just loving it!

Back in June your blog ‘Humbled again touched me – I am sure you get asked many questions & for lots of advice as a respected mentor to others.

I just wanted to let you know, that sometimes mentoring, like you say does not necessarily mean a long term relationship & it is not just mentoring those at corporate professional levels that can draw inspiration from you.  I am a Work-at-Home-Mum and to me you took the time to acknowledge me & responded personally with some words that got me thinking clearer about the direction I needed to take, & as they say the rest is history!  Your mentoring job for me was done, short & sweet, & for that I genuinely Thank-You.

Have a Magical 2012 Naomi & may all your New Year Wishes come true!

Kindest Regards
Kim”

How wonderful! And this is why I share my journey and what I learn.

My blog is all generated from me… word by word, there is no product placement here. (So please PR agencies stop sending me press releases – I’m not going to write about stuff I don’t have an opinion on or things I don’t know.)

Kim – a big thank you to you for sharing your story and congratulations on creating your business… and I look forward to hearing from others – anyone want to share?

RedBallooners say Thank You by "Paying in Forward"

Friends have commented “RedBalloon is everywhere this Christmas” – and I have answered by saying “we need to be”. It is important for us to remind people of the power of a great gift – how giving the gift of an experience creates the opportunity of sharing great memories with that person. It is up to us to change gifting in Australia forever.

At this time I also reflect how fortunate I am, how lucky we are at RedBalloon – and to remember that we did not do it alone. So as I think how can I show my appreciation to all those who have helped me – perhaps I could ‘pay it forward’…

I am often contacted by entrepeneurs, business owners and professionals seeking a mentor. And I have tended to take an adhoc approach to these requests. The writing of this blog and the book some years ago – together with my speaking, there are plenty of ways that I share what I have learned. Sometimes people have a burning question – something that they just need a sounding board for…mentoring does not have to be a long term relationship.

So I was thinking what could I do to provide a more formal ‘Mentoring’ program. That would be fun, inspiring, educational and life changing. So I came up with the idea of hosting a mentoring weekend.

On 27 April 2012 at one of the RedBalloon Getaway locations a weekend for eight people (and their partners )who have burning questions. We could have round tables, one on one time – themed dinners. (I imagine there will be pre reading – so we are all on the same page)…

Any way if you think it is a good idea, or you would be interested and want to know details – send me an email via this blog by 16 Jan (I am wanting to ascertain if this is something that would be of interest)… also in your email you might want to mention why you would want to attend such an event.

So as we say ‘Good Bye’ to 2011 – Let’s think about all those people we need to thank for assisting us on the journey – and begin to create what 2012 will be.

‘An unexamined life is not worth living’

Last weekend I took myself off to Landmark Education to do a newly developed program – called ‘Direct Access’ – and whilst I was not quite sure what I wanted to get out of the program I was delighted to see how the organization has evolved since I was last there seven years ago. This is an organization that has been listening to its customers and the customer touch points were noticeably improved. It made the whole education process so much easier.. and often it is the little things that get in the way of us being able to really get the most from such an event.

The program touched on many aspects of thoughts and thinking… and how human nature means that we on the whole are quite sloppy at it. The question was posed:

“What does it take to think rather than just have thoughts?”

“If you gave up thinking ie using your brain as soon as it gets challenging then you don’t really get to exercise your brain” – Like any muscle it is repetition and strain that develop it – the brain is not different.

“By nature people avoid the strain of really thinking – we tend to take short cuts”…

Thinking about thinking got me thinking – how much do I really do of it… or do I just have random thoughts that fire off, that I latch on to and run with straight away. What does it take to really think something through?

We were given this quote:

“I find for myself that my first thought is never my best thought. My first thought is always someone else’s; it’s always what I’ve already heard about the subject, always the conventional wisdom.

It’s only by concentrating, sticking to the question, being patient, letting all the parts of my mind come into play, that I arrive at an original idea. By giving my brain a chance to make associations, draw connections, take me by surprise.

And often even that idea doesn’t turn out to be very good.

I need time to think about it, too, to make mistakes and recognize them, to make false starts and correct them, to outlast my impulses, to defeat my desire to declare the job done and move on to the next thing.”

William Deresiewicz Former professor of English at Yale, from his lecture to the US military Academy at Westpoint in October 2009

By nature many entrepreneurs are impulsive – we get on with doing things. We have a tiny glimmer of an idea and off we race, ready to change the world. Maybe not all entrepreneurs are like this…

I would argue that it is great to have people around you who can help you see different points of view and to add weight to the thinking process. I suspect this is what coaches do best.

What are your thought about thinking? For instance sometimes I write to help me think; other times I think to help me write.

It made me wonder “what do I miss out on because I am often not ‘present’ as I focus on what my iPhone presents to me. Perhaps it is pretty lonely being a cab driver now – if customers no longer ‘havachat’.

When a plane touches down – many simultaneous ‘ding dings’ chime out demanding the attention of their owner. Most business people seem completely addicted to their phones.

I friend of mine recently lamented that he had been unreachable because he was in an all day meeting – and the response when he did come ‘back to the grid’ was – is something wrong with your phone. People seem to have a high expectation that if they send a message the response will be instantaneous.

I note that I was off air for two days this week – no email, phone, sms or internet. And whilst I had quite a back log of emails and messages on my return– I was highly efficient at getting back to people because I was completely focused on that task in that hour.

Is all this ‘immediate’ communication really giving us the opportunity to do good work? How many emails or text messages are dashed off in haste only to be misunderstood or incomplete?

As the taxi went passed the bus stop I notice that most of the people waiting were all inspecting their mobile phones – not even noticing the existence of the other human beings around them.

In all this urgency to connect – are we not ‘seeing’ those around us?. People who provide us services or who are part of our community.

Last week I was asked by one of the judges in the EY awards – how do you juggle all the different responsibilities that you have – my answer to this question (and it is question that I get often) is be truly ‘present’ – turn off your mobile phone and be with whoever you are with… does this same courtesy extend to those beyond business colleagues, family and friends.

Okay I am taking a personal challenge for the next 21 days to not use a mobile device in the presence of others. And I wonder who I will get to meet and what conversations I will get to experience – and also the added upside of not sending off a one line response to someone with out a considered response…

Let me slow things down – and not rush to everything, and I’m sure I will do better work as a result.

Want to play.

With Lyndsey Cattermole at the EY event.

I have just had the pleasure of being a participant at the Ernst & Young Women’s Entrepreneur Workshop in Sydney. It was a delight to listen to Carla Zampatti share her story of being an entrepreneur committed to women’s fashion and the struggles she faced in the late 60s. Lyndsey Cattermole shared the thrill and sheer determination it took to create her business – Aspect Computing – and Melissa Widner discussed her journey as a serial entrepreneur – and her role now as an angel investor and venture capitalist.

Avril Henry inspired the group with her insights into the traits of an entrepreneur – male or female.

1. We don’t care what other people think about us (and the older we get the less we care)
2. We have trouble imagining failure
3. We embrace adversity and difficulty
4. We take more risks than others – they are not careless risks – they are measured
5. We manage and mitigate our stress – we use our stress, and don’t think of it as a hindrance to a problem
6. We are there for the long term
7. We will sacrifice almost anything to achieve our vision
8. We have the ability to express ourselves and gain support from others

Senator Kate Lundy then spoke with us – and alas an opportunity was lost – we got government rhetoric and the party line. This was a chance to listen to 50 of Australia’s leading female entrepreneurs about our greatest challenges in creating big businesses. (And these challenges are probably not all that different to why there are not more women in leadership roles.)

Each of the three entrepreneurs mentioned in their presentations the constant battle of parenting and growing a business.

I have known Lyndsey for many years – in fact as a young girl she was a role model to me. My mother spent much of her career as a systems analyst with Lyndsey’s business Aspect Computing. Mum had said to me when I was at University “If Lyndsey can do it you can too”. We all need role models – someone to lead the way, and drag other women with them.

So when it came to question time – I was on my feet – asking for insights into their beliefs on the way forward with childcare for Australians.  All three resounded that at the bare minimum we MUST have tax deductible childcare to enable women to continue with their careers.

Avril Henry pointed out a section of the Tax Act that states (and I paraphrase) that a tax deduction is available to those expenses incurred to enable employment – hence Avril argued that the Tax Act already allows for ‘tax deductible childcare if it means that enables a woman to work’. However, the tax commissioner does not agree with this definition of the term.

Gillian Franklin, CEO of the Heat Group simply stated that this is the number one issue facing growth for the economy – and a formal review of the costs/benefits needs to be undertaken.

(I was thinking to myself – the more women working – the more tax that is paid – and the more people who are working in childcare – they will be paying taxes too) and everyone will have more spending power so the economy will grow.

The Senator’s response – we have introduced paid parental leave. Senator Lundy completely missed an opportunity to listen to entrepreneurial women – and to make a difference to the conversation. Less party line would have given her some credibility…..

Well done Ernst & Young for putting on such a worthwhile event. We look to you to keep the conversation going and pushing for a review of childcare in Australia. And good luck in getting this government to listen.

Goals for women
IF Naomi Simson‘s goal is to get more women on boards, she should start by not denigrating the role of parenting. ?The women’s movement has failed in what should have been a prime goal — to recognise and elevate the role of caring — whether it is for young children, the disabled, or the aged.? We have a highly feminised carer workforce languishing at the bottom of the pay scale, and capable women facing difficulties returning to the workforce after having ‘wasted’ years bringing up children.

Instead of supporting these women, high profile businesswomen such as Simson compound the problems by categorising the role of parents and carers as something that fails to contribute to society. ?I can’t think of a better way to contribute to society than raising healthy and confident children. I can’t think of a better way to hone organisational skills, to understand your own strengths and weaknesses and to learn patience and levelheadedness. ?It is time that powerful women took the lead in elevating the role of parenting, and promoting it as an asset rather than a hindrance to a career.

Brigitte Dwyer, Sandgate, Qld

I was glad to hear from Brigitte, because her letter highlights the emotions around the issue of gender and women’s role in the workplace. I do not denigrate the role of parenting. Nor have I ever said parents or carers fail to contribute to society. Parenting and teaching are one of the greatest contributions we can make, and I concur with Brigitte that the pay scales are not commensurate with the important role all carers play. What my article in The Australian was attempting to highlight was how hard it can be for women to contribute back to society through the workplace once they have had children.

Mixing business and family - sharing the journey with my daughter at the EY Entrepreneur of the Year 2011

The point I make is all about choices. The reality is – currently – after the birth of a second child it becomes even more difficult for parents to manage the expense of childcare and maintain a career. Not everyone has the financial freedom to choose not to take paid work once they become a parent. And while parenting teaches you so many valuable lessons about yourself and your organizational skills, it may not give you the outlet to practise the vital medical skills you studied long and hard for when you specialized in oncology because that is a passion you hold outside of your role as a parent. That is the point: many parents want the flexibility of staying connected to their chosen field because they personally feel that connection helps them be better parents, feeds their passions as well as helping financially.

Brigitte – thank you for adding to the debate. There is no easy answer, and each family has their own set of circumstance. What we seek are choices that work financially. One of my most precious roles is that of mother. But I know I can be a great mother experiencing the joy of parenting as well as working – after all, I started my own business so I could do that.

Marg Hartley with her teenage daughters

That would certainly make headlines, wouldn’t it? I wonder the impact such an initiative would have.

On the weekend I was chatting with my friend Margie Hartley and she shared some insights into why there are not more women in senior roles in Australia. Marg facilitates women’s resilience programs and is a coach to executives. She wrote a blog recently about the disappearing pipeline for senior female executives.

As we were chatting I offered that making childcare – including qualified in-home childcare – tax deductible could be an advantage to keeping more women in the workforce. This idea was recently tabled at the Tax Forum by a group called Chief Executive Women, representing nearly 200 business leaders, including highflyers such as Gillian Broadbent, Ita Buttrose, and Janet Holmes a Court.

Of course, this does not take into account those women not attracted to the corporate ladder, but still requiring greater flexibility in childcare, for example nurses working shifts, where the usual 7am opening and 6pm close of a long daycare is no help.  Actually, nor is it much support to the corporate working- woman either, given the hours often ‘expected’ in that world (which is another blog in itself).

Another submission made to the Tax Forum by the National Foundation for Women, argues that childcare tax breaks are not the solution, as tax deductibility versus the current childcare rebate would leave some families weekly out of pocket on their childcare fees. Put simply, nurses do not have access to the tax breaks that higher earners in the corporate world can experience.

My friend Marg’s response upped the ante: “What if Australia had free, ie: publically-funded childcare? We have public primary and secondary schools – our economy is changing and public policy needs to change with it.” It’s an interesting idea: public preschools that feed into our publicly-funded primary system.

However this is not a simple issue for under school age children. Every working mother I know talks about the horror of handling school holidays and trying to find appropriate arrangements.   Plus coming back to the notion of working hours, services that run outside of school hours are also vital.

Speaking with another woman the other night at the Global Banking Alliance for Women summit – hosted by Gail Kelly – with Penny Wong presenting the 40% female representation on government boards initiative. Much of the conversation around our table at the event was about the ‘juggling’ game that parents play. One woman lamented “I work 4 days a week, I have two pre school children and childcare costs me $40k per year…in POST TAX DOLLARS – I have to earn $70k just to pay for childcare… you have really got to love what you do at work to make it worth working at all.”

That is the point!

Ultimately, as business leaders, we all need to be willing to embrace change and lead by example. Change the notion of what is an appropriate working week. Change leadership expectations and, as Margie writes in her blog: “have leaders demonstrate flexibility that is really flexibility. Not a five-day week squeezed into four days or the ability to work 14 hours a day through technology.”

Let me hear your thoughts on this one…

People do have a choice about where they work; they also have a choice about how they give their discretionary effort. A great culture ensures greater productivity, and that ultimately delivers a better bottom line result.  Hence the reality is if you need to call upon extra effort from your team – they are far more likely to give it – if they enjoy the place they work and believe in its leader.

It makes sense to treat people well and they will return the favor. I know there are many male empathetic and culture driven leaders… but with out a diverse leadership group, a male only point of view in any organization may limits its opportunities. (Goldman Sachs report.)

The reality is that women will offer a different viewpoint… We need people with different backgrounds, ideas and experiences to be able to challenge, debate and argue alternative ideas.

We need more women leaders to be role models for younger women at the beginning of their career. Apparently the time when most women exit the work force is after their second child – when parenting does become more complex and child care more expensive. (Can someone tell me why childcare is not a tax deduction? Which would benefit the whole community and encourage women to return to work).

This is so frustrating! Something really does have to happen (is it going to take until the next generation to get something done… )

May I suggest to the male business dinosaur who wants “to hurry up and get the project delivered”… build a great culture and it will happen.

Too funny - men and women see what is 'important' differently

As a leader, when I walk into the office sparkling those around me sparkle too. I have been quoted many times as saying ‘if it is meant to be it is up to me’ – this also has to do with our own well being. If we look after ourselves, we have the energy and enthusiasm to support others.

Consider the 5 elements of well being:  learning, being present, being connected, being physically active and giving. Each day I know I must invest at least an hour in these things. And giving for me is about being generous with my love and attention to others – simple appreciation.

My intention is that I lead by example – that my enthusiasm and appreciation is contagious. They say that ‘happiness’ is infectious by at least three degrees. For instance if you give the gift of thanks to someone at work – both people feel fantastic – but not only that both giver and receiver are likely to carry that feeling of well being home with them – meaning that the happiness is shared – and we all have a good day.

I have been researching for my new book ‘stories of thanks’ – where the simplest story of appreciation has made someone’s day… we have put together a website to capture these stories. So please do share – make someone’s day by sharing the ‘gift of thanks’.

Notice someone in your life who has done something for you or for someone else and really authentically thank them – and maybe even tell me about it too. I would love to hear.

I challenge you to thank 5 people today… and do it for the next 21 days. Make a diary not of how you felt, and who and how you impacted another person. Tell me what you discovered.

Thank you. Thanks for taking your precious moments to read this missive, thank you for contemplating making a difference to someone else – and thank you in advance for sharing your story, and an even bigger thanks for taking up the challenge of appreciating five people for the next 21 days.

AIM WIM Great Debate ACT

‘Real women’ don’t need quotas? was the topic debated last week in Canberra at the AIM great debate event at the National Convention Centre. I was given the task of debating for the affirmative. Which meant that I was debating against having quotas. I’m not sure of the number but there seemed to be about 1000 people in the room. And they voted a resounding ‘Yes we do need quota’s’.

I think however that the audience was not really simply voting for quotas as voting for change. Every person in the room was in agreement – we need more women in leadership roles. I may well have taken to the topic tongue in cheek after my esteemed team of Robyn Archer and Jane Wolfe had presented very convincing arguments, however Ita Buttrose with team mates Julie McKay and Sue McGready definitely ‘pipped us at the post’.

As the final speaker I argued that there was no doubt we were all in agreement that we needed more women on boards – but it is a question on how women get there that matters.

It did not take quota’s to get:

• 27.3% of all federal parliamentarians women
• 30% of all small business owners are female
• 70.6% of all teachers are women (the role that influences all future generations)
• 100% of all mothers are women.

None of these important roles took quotas

When I searched Google for ‘real women Australia’ it returned a website that was ‘empowering curvy women’ – I asked “do we need to be curvy to be considered a real woman – and do we need quotas for that?”.

Then searching Google for ‘quotas Australia’ most of what was presented was quotas for primary production such as dairy, beef and wheat. “Are women in leadership to be put into the same category as agriculture?” I implored.

Of course the more serious discussion of tokenism and merit were well argued by my team mates, and I summarized “Just because we make it to the board room doesn’t mean that we will be listened to, respected or valued – in fact if put there by quota we may do more harm than good for the ‘cause’.”

The corporate world by nature will not relish more regulation…. A board is in place to represent the interests of its shareholders. Hence, given it is clear that we do want change – if every person who has a share (of any size) attends the annual general meeting they have the right to ask a question… Simply on mass let’s all start asking the question “Why does your board makeup not represent the community to which it serves?”. The chairman and board will be forced to respond and take action.

Yes we want change – we have the power to influence that change for the companies we have shares in. It will cause change faster than any other action, after all quotas just simply might not be the best way to get change.

We may have lost the debate – but at least the conversation continues and it is not even ‘International Womens Day’ which is usually the anniversary of where we discuss this over and over again, year after year.

Please take action now – go to an annual general meeting and have your say – because we are all agreed that change is needed.