To give or not to give that is the question. Giving a gift is not always the right thing to do. In fact a bad gift can do more harm than good. A gift can either enhance a relationship or detract from it. In giving a gift it shows our intentions towards that person, it tells us something about our relationship with them - what we think of them, how important they are to us, the potential future relationship we intend to have with them. I often giggle that my mother-in-law has given me alot of handkerchiefs over the past two decades, I'm still trying to work out what that means.
Giving an acknowledgment, or thanking someone authentically can be a great gift in itself. It usually comes back to the intention of the gift. Is it given from love, kindness and generosity or is it given hoping for something in return, to buy a favor, or to coerce someone.
A gift or a thank you needs to be given purely out of generosity and to show that the recipient is cared for. Then it will enhance the relationship. It is the same with gifts given in business. What you give someone is just as important. A gift can often be met with cynicism if it comes with an agenda. A great gift will be relevant to the recipient, something that is of worth to them.
At RedBalloon we've found that more than 50% of Australian businesses give their employees a leaving gift – yet less than 1% give them a welcome gift (and a uniform does not count as a welcome gift). A new employee will feel great when you congratulate them for joining an organization. It will set the tone of acknowledgment at the commencement of their employment journey.
A gift reinforces our status, and supports the basic need of being a part of something important. Ideally you want to give them a gift that they are proud of, that they want to talk about – that shows that you know that person. I think one of the reasons why experience gifts are so popular is because people get to choose from thousands of activities – something they have always wanted to do – and they get to share it with those people who are important to them, a spouse or friend for instance.
I remember once in a speaking engagement where I had been sharing how important it is to acknowledge an individuals contribution to an organization, in a personal and authentic way – and that this must be done regularly (according to Gallup employees have forgotten within 7 days an acknowledgment received). A question came from the audience –“but what if you say thank you to some one – or give them a gift, or acknowledge them with an award, and then a month or two later they do something that is 'against company policy' or detrimental to the business.“ At the time I was surprised by the question. As a parent do we not acknowledge the good things our child does because we know very shortly they are likely to do something naughty?
I have always found that if you authentically acknowledge someone – they feel so good about themselves that they wont want to let you down. People by nature will respond positively when they know that you really do care. It becomes person.
Here are three steps to authentic gifting:
- Know the intention of the gift and be real when you deliver the message. That is, thank them specifically for what they did for you, or the relationship you have with them.
- What impact does that person have on you personally (as well as the organization) eg 'without your contribution the project would not have shipped on time'
- Let them know why you selected that gift for them. eg 'I know that you have always wanted to learn sushi making – you might like to choose that for yourself and partner.'
We are all busy – but the power of delivering a great gift with reap more rewards than you can ever imagine…Not just because of the way you made them feel. But the way it made you feel when you gave the perfect gift.
We have intern's work with us on a regular basis at 
The next generation will have it's say
Presenting to 150 fifteen year old girls is probably one of the tougher gigs that I have had. Not helped by the fact that my daughter said just before I left home... 'Don't be embarrassing - and they really aren't interested in all ...
I looked at these young women and thought what would I have liked to have known all those years ago? I showed them a photo of my girlfriends and I at the same age. This started the conversation - instead of a mother, CEO and old woman - they now saw that I too had started my journey in the same place they are now.
I shared with them about the difference between accountability and responsibility. I gave them vivid examples of leadership versus management. But more than anything, I wanted to leave them with the message of persistence. Of not giving in.
I've met people throughout my journey - all of which have added to who I am now. Even the most horrendous manager taught me how I did not want to be. I said: "When I'm running the show it will be different."
Entrepreneurs are like clown punching bags - we keep getting dealt a blow (we never know where from) but up we get and keep going. We never give up. There is no option of when should I quit. We have only one way forward - towards achieving our purpose.
Our purpose engages others in what we are up to. It is the people around us that will make it happen (as my colleague Megan said to me yesterday - "I'm the detail in your devil"). Persistence is a key ingredient. And being passionate about what we do everyday is a given. (Going into business just to make money is not very inspiring to anyone).
These young women were eager to hear my story, and had many questions. But I left them with one thought. To follow their dreams single mindedly, that it is wonderful to bring our femininity to whatever we choose to do... (we don't need to act like blokes). That by the time they are my age I would like to see that the public company boards in Australia are representative of the communities they serve.
Perhaps some of the young women I met today, will be part of that amazing revolution yet to take place in the board rooms of Australia (I just hope we don't have to wait 30 years to see it happen).